A bit dramatic, but what better way to break a 8 month fear induced writer’s block that I fashionably call a hiatus. So get ready for an 8 month brain baby on cognitive dissonance.
In these past 8 months, I have been burnt out from teaching, barely recovered over the summer only it to start all over again in a year deemed the hardest ever by seasoned teachers.
“But you have summers off, lucky!”
“If you hate it so much, just quit”
I don’t take my job for granted, especially in this economy. I get to explain what the real world is to kids, see them grow and apply the knowledge. Make mistakes and learn from them. I get to teach about racism, equity, financial disparity, morality, and multiplication.
But it is a mentally, physically, and emotionally draining job. A friend described it as a vocation, the thought of which makes me want to vomit.
Here, a fundamental job, largely held by women, where the first 7 years of pay are barely enough to make ends meet. Healthcare, agriculture, blue collar jobs; we’re deeply neglected public servants.
Unpaid hours go into setting up a classroom, extra curricular activities, parent conferences, committees, overnight trips. Teachers put their own money into school equipment to make their room friendly and inclusive. Now, in a normal world, teachers would happily do that. But the teachers are not alright. Your kid is happy? That’s because a teacher worked their ass off to make sure it looked easy.
If we don’t, we’re selfish.
Many go home and work at our second job while the bigots government say we’re indoctrinating kids and parents protest that we are unqualified groomers.
These are the same forces that is take funding away and invest it into private schools run by their besties. Stripping the healthcare system so the public is forced to think private is solely better. Destroying parks and wildlife in exchange for parking lots and spas. Burning teachers out, putting no money into upgrading the schools, painting teachers in a negative light to misdirect anger; all this for “Public schools are horrible, they should go private so they can become a rich asshole who think widening the economic and social gap is survival of the fittest”.
I am sick and tired of high expectations from the government, with no resources, then be vilified for trying to help children accept themselves and be kind. The government wants us to dedicate our lives to the children, while being a martyr in their political campaigns. Why do you think 96% of teachers voted yes to strike? We’re done with the bullshit.
If I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist.
What are the jobs that do get rewarded? Are they in healthcare, education or public service? Or is it the ones held together by selling people things?
Society has become so individualistic that no one actually cares all the essential systems are having nuclear meltdowns or feel as though there is nothing they can do anyways. Right now it’s about having the most important opinion to toss into the void to get that sponsorship and survive escaping the burning building.
What happens to the marginalised communities that can’t pay $50 000/year for private school? They continue to fall to the wayside, they become further ignored, the economic divide thickens and burns. Gotham City rises from the ashes. If it doesn’t directly affect you, why care? You can bury your face in your phone and tune it out. Fine tune those personalised ads and get sucked into a trend cycle that is so short its dizzying. I’m guilty of it too, of course; but I’m tired of it. Have you ever stopped to look up, look around, and ponder?
Effort is muscle we must exercise
So many kids come to school now and just expect things. That is not a reflection of them; it’s a reflection of the society and homes they come from. They expect the answers and rewards while teachers take the verbal and physical abuse (swearing, racism, throwing chairs, tantrums, the list goes on). “Do it home, or after school or during your break” is something I hear a lot. They expect things to just work in their favour with no effort.
Will you only react when your expected essential rights cease to exist?
We have young people who think “Why should I bother voting, I don’t have kids and I’m content in my bubble”. They can’t bother to change their address and register, and assume they can’t make a difference anyways. Then the capitalist politicians win, fund their bank accounts, and rot public access, while others die for a chance at democracy.
When the healthcare system implodes, and the majority of the people can’t afford to take care of themselves. When public servants get sick of serving self-involved people…what are you going to do? You can’t project manage your way out of this Greg.
I watch as my city becomes infected with vapid people who push to be first like a 2nd grader going to gym class. We pretend to be epitome of a healthy humanity with with our micro-greens and micro-plastics. Toronto is a multicultural city that uplifts all communities. It’s time we start focussing on what matters.
Millions of Is can turn into We
Listen. You can make a difference. There is power in the people.
Standing up for people you can’t see without the same privileges. Get over the self-pity and use your privilege for good. Call out hypocrisy, slowing down the capitalistic gluttonous self-involved bites out of society. Watch who you support. Who you buy. Get your head out of your ass, pay attention. Pay attention to the bias in the media. Do your own research. Look into what companies you support; how are they taking their billions and helping the world you depend on? Or are you adding to coloniser’s piggy bank.
There is no ethical consumption under capitalism; but one consistent bite makes a difference. Look someone in the eye and ask how they’re doing. Make the first move and be kind to a stranger.
Or, you can continue down the narcissistic wormhole of social media, bury your head in the sand and pretend none of it is happening.
Every year we do compliance training. Super important, because it discusses topics that we face every year. Allergies. Abuse. Racism. The biggest thing institutions have picked up on is the anti-racism lingo. Companies, school boards and people reaaalllly don’t want to be seen as racist. Case study after statistic after checking our bias after policy. We have to learn this and make sure our students succeed in a racist, capitalist system that is also actively bashing us and taking funding away. Teach the kids about human effects on the Earth while companies continually poison essential resources in exchange for our money so we can get a dopamine hit and not feel so bad for being the worst species.
Everyday I fight to not leave this career (thereby giving up my spot to make a difference) and want to scream at the uphill battle that is only getting steeper. Maybe I’m just a hater and wish I could get a grocery sponsorship. I’d settle for free concerts.
None of it has ever been fair; we’ve always just sat around numbly or glancing away. We live as Schrödinger’s cat. It doesn’t have to be like that.
As we go into the holidays, think about the impact you want to make while consuming.
Okay exhale.
Indigenous companies to support
Free Palestine
Thanks for reading 🙂