Your 20s feel like this silly putty length of time is the centre of your life. School, Moving out, apartment hunting, figuring out how to be independent yet vulnerable, staying up till 4am, making dumb mistakes repeatedly, healing old wounds, making multiple quick connections.
There is an engrained societal pressure to figure it out in our 20s, so you can be stable parents in your 30s. But the truth is adults are always trying to figure it out.
Evidently, have you seen old people? They literally don’t give a crap.
It’s my champagne birthday this year. 30 on the 30th. For once in my life, I feel absolutely calm entering a new chapter of my life. I’ve already done my time being anxious about the unknown. I’m ready for the next 10 years of confidence.
And since I know nothing about my 30s yet, I’ll reflect upon my 20s for tidbits to use for the next decade. These may not be applicable if you’re not a single 29 year old cis-POC woman but I’d like to think that I’m universally relatable.
Presenting: Life Tidbits from my 20s (applicable for all)
- Realize and Recognize
- Realize when things are working for you. Recognize what is good for you. It is so annoyingly simple, and our scumbag brain will constantly tell us it’s too much energy to focus on.
Recognize the same lessons you’re learning over and over again. If dirty dishes annoy you, just wash them right away. Then you never have dishes to do. Apply the lessons, so you can finally move onto the next level in life. Otherwise life becomes a groundhog day curse that only you can stop.
- Keep what is good for you around, store some vices for flavour, discard the rest. Realize what makes you feel miserable, and what you can control. And the learning process of it all is normal. That’s what your 20s are for.
- Realize when things are working for you. Recognize what is good for you. It is so annoyingly simple, and our scumbag brain will constantly tell us it’s too much energy to focus on.
- No one else is watching you
- Trust me. Even if they are, what a gift for them. We live in our minds, because that is where we process the world. However, there is a real physical ecosystem out there, completely independent from your influence. Not everything is about you
- Trust me. Even if they are, what a gift for them. We live in our minds, because that is where we process the world. However, there is a real physical ecosystem out there, completely independent from your influence. Not everything is about you
- Literally it’s a social construct, there are no rules only decency
- Who cares if you aren’t where your friends are? You don’t have the same life or mind as each other. For instance, think of every good friend ensemble sitcom; everyone had something different going on. And that’s absolutely fine.
- To sum up, the idea of having a nuclear family by 30 isn’t reflective of the times. If that is your number 1 in life, then so be it. But everyone has their pace. Not all cars go the same speed on the road. Just be a decent human being and keep going.
- Let go of finding answers, don’t drive yourself mad
- My therapist said this to me once. You don’t have to have the answers to everything; that’s impossible. Everything happens as a reason. And you can’t be Everywhere, all at once. So take things as they come, reflect mindfully and true to who you are. Listen to the advice of those you trust, with a grain of salt. Make decisions that make sense to you, and you don’t have to explain them to anyone. Allow yourself to react, not prepare for every possible outcome.
- My therapist said this to me once. You don’t have to have the answers to everything; that’s impossible. Everything happens as a reason. And you can’t be Everywhere, all at once. So take things as they come, reflect mindfully and true to who you are. Listen to the advice of those you trust, with a grain of salt. Make decisions that make sense to you, and you don’t have to explain them to anyone. Allow yourself to react, not prepare for every possible outcome.
- Two things can be true at once
- Things aren’t as black and white as the internet has painted it to be. Your feelings are valid and your mother is right. Reality TV sucks and Love is Blind is so good. Two things can be true at once, how liberating.
- Things aren’t as black and white as the internet has painted it to be. Your feelings are valid and your mother is right. Reality TV sucks and Love is Blind is so good. Two things can be true at once, how liberating.
- Dress comfortable and complimentary
- Whether it be the fit or not feeling yourself, being uncomfortable while out is one of the worst feelings. It’s a shortcut to “I rather be in bed”. Find out what compliments your body and expresses your soul. Get Pinterest. Always refine; try not to overconsume.
- Whether it be the fit or not feeling yourself, being uncomfortable while out is one of the worst feelings. It’s a shortcut to “I rather be in bed”. Find out what compliments your body and expresses your soul. Get Pinterest. Always refine; try not to overconsume.
- Shoes weren’t meant for healthy feet. (Stretch goddammit)
- Wearing Converse since I was 13 hasn’t helped what has become bad foot posture. Wear shoes that are good for you, limit the bad ones. They literally don’t made shoes for healthy feet often, it’s a shame. Stretch daily. Go to Yoga.
- Please, the worst part is that I am mindful of how much pain I’m in. That isn’t normal. Go foam roll. Don’t take your body for granted; it gets you through a lot.
- Your parents will forgive you, that’s their job
- You aren’t the parent. They’re only human. Enough said.
- You aren’t the parent. They’re only human. Enough said.
- They’re not guilty pleasures. Just say you like them and be proud. No one can falter your confidence if you don’t let them
- Who cares what’s popular; does it suit who you are? The world of influencers is not the real world. Make your own decisions that feel right to you, and whoever align with that was always meant to be in your life. Undoubtedly, trends don’t define you. How boring if they did.
- Who cares what’s popular; does it suit who you are? The world of influencers is not the real world. Make your own decisions that feel right to you, and whoever align with that was always meant to be in your life. Undoubtedly, trends don’t define you. How boring if they did.
- You’re grown. You are no longer the ingenue.
- Take control, seek what makes you feel confident. Own it. Mistakes happen. You embarrass yourself. Own it. Regardless, being overly naive is a part of life we outgrow to survive and evolve. Street smarts.
- Take control, seek what makes you feel confident. Own it. Mistakes happen. You embarrass yourself. Own it. Regardless, being overly naive is a part of life we outgrow to survive and evolve. Street smarts.
- Having fun has no age limit
- There is more to life then endless to-do lists. Don’t become boring with age. You can literally do whatever you want; that is the beauty of free will. Just because you got older doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Live a little.
To all those afraid of what comes next in life, go get yourself a little treat and find what brings joy today (everyday).
bye for now, time to treat myself to a Trente Starbucks. FREE!